Most of the world kicks off a new year, with attempting to create an improved version of theirselves. Whether it be working out, dieting, or overall change of lifestyle. I went for something I have never tried before. My determination for change has drove me to an overall feel of empowerment.
First, I removed toxic people from 2017. Anyone I did not see a future with. Anyone that took me out of character. The negative attachments I’ve bonded to in the past have no space in my future. You’ll understand more when I explain the months leading up to 2017. Cliffs notes, the years prior involved love triangles, a few bad romances, abusive friendships, sexual harassment, infidelity and a partridge and a pear tree. After a few weeks of loneliness and confusion, I started to feel more focus and self love.
Then, some how I came to the conclusion to get a hold of my love life I need to resist My sexual urges. I have gone celibate. Never have I realized more of how much sex can be such an addiction. Self control has became a goal, almost a game with my self (let’s see how long I can make it). I even root for my self when rejecting temptation. Good girl! Go girl! Come on, you can make it longer! At times I forget why I’m doing this, or I ask my self what I’m going to achieve from this. Four months into my celibacy, wow!
No one believes me, or understands my point. This is all about me regaining my power. I’ve been oversexualized and objectified one time too many, and now I want to be in control. I feel like we allow our selves to be put in these situations because we are used to it, and become comfortable. No thank you! This year is about self love. If I can’t love my self no one can.